Welcome back philosophers, romantics and sceptics! This week we’ll be thinking love.
Love. Love. Love.
Right now that’s out my system, well what about it ?
We all need it.
But what is it really and how do I obtain it ?
Open your Bible (apps) to 1 Corinthians 13, there we find 13 verses detailing what love is and essentially how love trumps all. As you read through the chapter you’ll quickly realise how much love requires an edifying of oneself. Self righteousness, miraculous gifts and such are therefore meaningless without love.
Interestingly in French the phrase ‘I love you’ is translated as Je t’aime which for my linguists will immediately point out the verb used here is aimer which means to like. To suggest you love someone, there must be a level of liking that individual as a precursor to love. The sentence concerns both the subject (t’) and you (je) also. Now you may be thinking duh 🙄 that much is obvious, but to what extent that love has to do with YOU, rather than the individual will be explored further.
In Plato’s famous work Symposium (which is essentially a fancy drink up), guests at said party each take turns delivering monologues on love. Some whimsical, some comical and others more philosophical in nature (naturally), but all demonstrate remarkably well the subjectivity of the meaning of love to different people and situations.
The following is a brief introduction to the characters in next week’s follow up dialectic segment, a famed technique used by Plato in his philosophical discourse especially in the Republic. Plato’s Symposium consists of speeches on love and a monologue of particular interest was that of the prophetess Diotima as she equates love to the essential attainment of good.
Symposium in SE
- The Philosoper King Love of knowledge
- The Nurturer Love as a prerequisite for growth
- The Observer Love, lust and infatuation
- The Inhabitant Love as sacrifice
- Gold Soul Theorist Love equating to goodness
- A Soft Lavender Intimacy
They say nothing lasts forever, so what makes love the exception?
God is Love
In a religious context, namely Christianity we encounter the following statements:
God is good
God is love
In such a case, these being attributed to God (who we can consider to be an immutable perfect being) – we can equate goodness and love.
The second greatest commandment is also:
Love thy neighbour as thyself
The commandments are essentially statutes for goodness, so we can consider loving ourselves (self-love) and others as being intrinsically good.
The greatest commandment you may be wondering is about you guessed it – love. This commandment speaks about loving God in our entirety, that is with our whole heart, soul and mind. To love God is to not only hear but listen to the commandments and OBEY.
Self love
Ahh self love, this is an interesting concept which seems to have been inherently misconstrued and hijacked by social media and the lavish. Now the portrayal that self love encompasses spa days and spontaneous shopping sprees isn’t altogether ludicrous. Although the painting of self love as something glamorous is wherein lies the problem. Self love is cumulative, requiring a continuous forgiveness and acceptance of oneself over and over (and over again). Like romantic love, self love isn’t always concerned with the rosy but rather the mundane and painstaking task of learning and unlearning just as we do with another person.
The premise of love requiring that which it lacks, or that which it possesses and wishes to continue to have is interesting especially regarding self love and romantic love.
Do we seek out what we lack within ?
Let’s take hope for example, we don’t hope for what we already have. Rather we hope in anticipation of what is yet to come.
“ For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” Romans 8:24-25
How would you describe love ? If we were to mindmap a few words that may come to mind would these be in your list ?
- Romance
- Hearts
- Displays of affection
- Intimacy
Or rather
- Service
- Forgiveness
- Loyalty
- Humility
- Liberation
- Growth
Is love reserved for family members, good friends , young adults seeking a partner to marry and settle down with or an elderly couple 30 years deep into a marriage ?
Is love words, actions or a choice ? Does love ask or require of us, and if so how much ?
Briefly circling back to our short language lesson, we can consider the idea of love languages.
***Observation May I just add, humans have a fascination with classification and this can be noted in the Zodiac, Spirit Animals, the Myers-Briggs test and a plethora of other “tests” which promote a sense of commonality and acceptance amongst those sharing those apparent characteristics.
Anyways, ahh love languages
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Gifts
- Physical Touch
- Words of affirmation
Love languages are particularly concerned with the action part of love, that is how we show romantic love to a partner. Thinking back to what love requires of us especially in a romantic sense, we must consider how the other party wants to be shown love. If anything to make our loved one happy but also in the hope that we can be loved the way we want in turn.
Love as work
Love essentially asks of us, it requires of us – which indicates a necessity to give ( better willingly than not) and in most cases the best kind of love is that which is willing to give, forgive and forgive again. Love is give and take, as synergy and balance is paramount in any exchange, as the lack of compromise promises the demise of a relationship. Although in a plethora of romantic movies, love is often portrayed as an unwilling force leading us again and again to an individual the protagonist has feelings for. Now here is where love as a choice is explored, to what extent our tendency to love is based on predispositions from previous relations, preferences and conditioned wants – ultimately it is a choice.
As cliché as it is (hey it’s a post on love), love unlike lust and infatuation is more a slow burn compared to the untameable yet fleeting flames of lustful passion. Love is not solely concerned with the grand gestures and the mundane tasks. Love is saying you’re wrong even when you’re right ( this ones the real kicker amirite!)
It’s the little things
In my last post, we briefly explored the 7 deadly sins and particularly pride. Pride will very quickly (due to its preoccupation with self) end a relationship when the troughs of life hit. Humility in love ( and life really) allows a safe space to be wrong, be hurt and yet yield that despite it all, there is a willing choice to lose a battle to maintain the integrity of the relationship. And again let me reiterate, humility is not abjection and insincere meekness but rather a laying down of the ego.
LOVE IS WORK.
BUT, ALL WORK NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY .
M. Scott Peck offers a lovely explanation on the topic of what love is, stating that love is an extension of self for the growth of another. In my post Gold Soul Theory: Growth & Godhood we briefly explored the importance of love in growth. Likewise love is equated to work due to the constant exertion of effort. In other words, love is a choice as we choose to help, chastise, support and remain loyal to a loved one. Love isn’t in this case that of love stories with an instantaneous connection of two souls destined for one another. But rather an active conscious and continual effort to love someone through the good AND bad. When people “fall out of love” we can say the choice to continue that extension of self has halted and/or unforgiveness has severed that connection. To forgive even when the other party has forsaken you – to me, that’s love.
**Hmm anyone thinking to Jesus being forsaken on the cross ??
***
In a following post, we’ll continue our dialectic on love and delve more into distinctions between love, lust and infatuation. The concept of goodness in ethics is far reaching and it’s relation to love will be explored further with colourful and insightful monologues from my lovely aliases. Oh and psst Love really is the not-so secret, secret ingredient.
– socratemi
‘Ave a gander
- Symposium Plato
- The Prophet Khalil Gibran
- The Road Less Travelled M. Scott Peck
- Holy Bible Various authors
YT Video: The Bible Project Numbers
For your listening pleasure:
A Rollercoaster Jam Named Love Rapsody ft Musiq Soulchild & Gwen Bunn
So Amazing Luther Vandross
Soul Sista Bilal
Really Love D’Angelo
Untitled D’Angelo
Supernatural – Extended Mix KING
That Girl Iman Omari
Ab-Soul’s Intro Terrace Martin ft Ab-Soul
Prototype Outkast
Voodoo Frank Ocean
Crossfire/ So Into You Nai Palm
You’re my Everthing Robert Glasper ft Bilal & Jazmine Sullivan
Feel the Real Musiq Soulchild
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